Hello there Michael,
There was a time when i saw the intensity of truth in every one and everything. I saw the essence of god and divinity in all i encountered, leading me on a journey in embracing the unification of all the people, places and ideals
i came in contact with. i could stare at a wall, talk to a flower and hear the grace of Truth speaking to me and through me. i would fall into the eyes of a stranger with the sacred divine intimacy surrounding us. They would pour out their hearts to me; speaking of all the fears they work so hard to keep hidden.
i knew in those precious instances what their souls were thirsty for, they would say to me "i felt compelled to tell you all of this i am not usually like this...." i understood. i could hear the message of our souls in a clear communication, i knew my purpose loud and clear. my disciplines and spiritual practices reflected the trust i had with god, in which became a reflection to all my surroundings.
so i understand that the seasons change, sometimes its a rebirth with spring or its chaos with winter, and how they reflect the essence of our experiences, how ever as time passed i started to feel used and saw how others put me on a pedestal. i saw my ego feeding the image of enlightenment, and i saw it creating a separation between myself and others.
its funny because the first trial for me in creating the sacred intimacy in communicating the "truth", at fist i had a fear of them not wanting to be around me because i reflect what i am most passionate about, and that is facing ones self, in order to see the ego and not react to it, so you’re not lost underneath its spell, i chose to feel the hunger of my soul instead, and in that choice some hesitate to be in my life while others do not want to let go at all.
i could keep going because the stories never end, and that’s the best part. i love living. i love being. And i love loving! i am very grateful for this wonderful experience that we call life. My question for you Michael is what insight do you receive when you read this? Thank you for your time!
With love Bree!
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Hi Bree,
Thank you for your important question. I know very few people who have the kind of self awareness that your question reflects. I think this came from your deep spiritual experience of oneness and connection with everyone.
In my practice too I had experience where everyone and everything was just my own being, where I felt the deepest sense of oneness. And from within my experience it seemed as if it would last forever. When it came to an end I was really puzzled and surprised.
What do you take to be your home?
Then it occurred to me to examine what I was coming back to, because that was what I was taking to be my real home. No matter how nice and how long my vacation in Hawaii was, in the end I would come back to my home in California.
In the same way no matter how amazing my experiences were, in the end I came back to what I considered to be just me or "This is just the way I am." Think of it this way. If you were alone in a room, without the need for an image, what would you rest in? That is what you are taking to be home or just the way I am.
Seeing a hostile world is not conducive to oneness
In my case I was coming back to my fears based on an inimical world that was out to get me so I always had to be on guard. This is the same reason that I took up martial arts. As I'm sure you can see, this idea is not conducive to feelings of oneness.
Now here's the good news. Your real home is undying Consciousness and Bliss. Once you see a limitation as limitation and not as reality you are free from that limitation. That’s because you are the Consciousness that sees limitation; not the one stuck in it.
You know when you identify with limitation
If you identify with something less than you really are, it will feel uncomfortable and too limited like a shoe that doesn't fit. So if you feel, "I'm the enlightened teacher and they are the students stuck in limitation,” you will find yourself a step down from your experience of oneness. The trick here is not to judge yourself as bad. Look at yourself as if you were someone else reading a novel about you.
Seeing your limiting concepts is a skill that you can develop
I found this a little like riding a bicycle. At first it was very difficult for me to see my limitations. But once I got my balance, destroying limiting frameworks became the mainstay of my practice. Long before I destroyed them all I found the root concept of taking myself to be limited to the thought I.
Now what I would suggest is poke around a little and ask: when you first had the feelings of divinity in all, the perfection that is in and through everything, there wasn’t the need to lead anybody to anything, as perfection was already there. Then your communication was God talking with God and nothing else.
When did this start to switch?
Then came the feeling that you were leading people to divine wisdom; what were you taking these people to be anyway? Is that where separation started? Then you started craving their acceptance and fearing rejection from these people. Why was this? Was their rejection powerful enough to pull you out of your innate oneness? Why were you running after their acceptance and fearing their rejection anyway? If they want to be with you there would be a natural connection; if not then not.
Use these questions as a guide to help you see the limitations that you take to be true. Then you can ask, “What am I taking the world and my mind to be anyway? Is this their natural state?” Since you had the experience of oneness you already know what they really are, right? So when you become aware of the views that seem to limit you, they will disappear into the place where they first came from. Where do assumptions come from anyway?
This will be like cutting the strings that seem to pull you back into limitation. Finally your experiences will be your natural state and there will be nothing left to come back to.
Of course you will help people, and you will have the ability to cut lifetimes off their spiritual practice, and end their suffering for good. But you will know that they are in the hands of God, and so free to accept or reject what you say. In the same way you see clearly what held you back in limitation, you will see clearly what keeps people in the grip of limitation. But you will allow them to grow so that they can see this too.
And you will know that there is nothing wrong in last night's dream. Perfection has not been destroyed in any way. Please feel free to ask questions and ask me to clarify this answer.
Feel free to ask questions
Now I want you to experience your true identity in its full glory. So please
feel free to continue asking questions. I’m always glad to hear your
reactions and clarify my answers. Unlike the path of faith, on the path
of Self-Knowledge it is curiosity that destroys limitation and allows
you to abide in your natural freedom.
Best Wishes for Your Practice,
Michael Gluckman
