Hello Michael,
It must be more than a year ago since we last had contact. Good to know that you are still answering questions.
About 6 months ago I took some LSD with a psychotherapist who works in this way. I sat in meditation with my eyes closed for about 5 hours. When the therapist came to sit in front of me and asked if I was ready to talk I was about to tell her that I had not had any experience and could not therefore say anything but as I sat there it was as if food gates opened up and suddenly a whole lot of realizations started to pour out of my mind.
What I realized though was that the words I was using and the experience I was talking about had nothing to do with the 5 hours which was really a non-experience but somehow that non experience was informing the experience that the mind was talking about. It was something like intuition. When the mind says it has a good idea that good idea has emerged from the unknown.
So it seemed to me that the LSD experience took me into a deeper level than I had actually been conscious of before.
I now recognize that the mind creates ideas, philosophies, patterns of thinking and colors it with emotions and that is the experience that everyone talks about but has nothing to do with the SELF which is not the thoughts, words, ideas and even experience. The latter is generally nothing more that thoughts and stirred up emotions.
So clearly the self is nothing to talk about or can’t be talked about and even the experience is outside mind therefore again difficult to find words for because the words are not the SELF.
The other day I got angry with an organization that was not treating me with the respect I felt was due to me. The great thing was that I just could acknowledge the anger and the energy that had emerged and knew instinctively that this was exactly the energy I need to respond with. The anger seem to emerge as I very seldom get angry and this surprised me but rather than let the mind play games with it I allowed the anger to move and write the email that I don’t think I could have written without this energy.
I would like some feedback of these experiences as I recognize the trickster who is always around.
Warm greetings,
Bernard
Hi Bernard,
It is good hearing from you again and learning about your experiences. Congratulations on these experiences. Your intuitive knowledge was coming from a space that was deeper than your mind. The words and thoughts were just following your direct experience.
These experiences can also help you to step out of your everyday views, and get a broader view of the nature of your experience. We often assumed that we are centered in the mind, and that what it tells us must be true. That means when you think, “I am a purple kangaroo,” you must be a purple kangaroo, right? My point is that your thoughts don’t really comprehend what you experience.
The mind is like a one dimensional object that plods along thought after thought, trying to understand a four dimensional space. It never quite gets it right. But if you assume that you are centered in the mind, then what you think seems correct. And then you end up looking right past your most profound experiences as if they never happened. That is probably why at first you called it a non-experience. It was a real experience that the mind couldn’t comprehend.
By your direct experience you know more than the mind can grasp
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Then when you got a glimmer of what happened you saw that the mind couldn’t grasp what you actually experienced. In fact many times when a person has trouble with his (or her) mind, it is because he (or she) is trying to use the mind to define something that it can’t quite grasp. So it just spews out a bunch of babble, which the person takes to be true.
That’s why the purpose of Self-Knowledge is not to change your mind; rather it is to change the place that you stand in relation to the mind. In this way you can experience the profundity of life directly, without the need for the captions that the mind provides. In other words when you go deeper in your meditations, you have to stand centered in the place where the experience actually occurs. If you attempt to analyze it by standing separate and thinking about it, you will seem to bring that experience to an end. Furthermore when you attempt to filter your experiences through your mind, you will miss much of the beauty that life presents to you. For more on this you can read, “Thinking from within,” in “Making Your Wisdom Come Alive.”
You feel right at home when you stand in your own Self-Nature
When you stand as the Self that you are, you will be free from any definition in the mind. But you will know that you have found this freedom because you will feel right at home in your real identity. You will know the Self by the Self, without the need for a separate thinker. But out of relief, when you stop asking the mind to do something that it is incapable of, like defining what you are, there is a good chance that even the mind, out of relief, will come to balance.
When you say: “So it seemed to me that the LSD experience took me into a deeper level than I had actually been conscious of before,” the question becomes what is the nature of “me”? Is me the noise in your head that you call thoughts, including the subject, which is nothing more than the thought “I”? Or is “me” the unseen pristine Awareness that lights up the mind?
Consider your nature deeply
If “me” is the thoughts in your mind, then the Awareness will seem to come and go. As a consequence you will have high experiences, but they will seem to disappear leaving you back in your assumed home, which is the thoughts in your mind.
On the other hand, if “me” refers to your real home, the unseen changeless Awareness, then the thoughts will seem to come and go, but you will remain in your pristine home. Then what is sometimes called the highest experience in the universe will be your everyday experience.
As far as eyes open or closed, if you ever have a similar experience, try meditating part of the time with your eyes open. You’ll be surprised how a tiny change in your mind will make a big change in the seemingly solid world. If you start to feel seasick, just close your eyes again. Also remember that whatever goes through your mind, whether it seem amplified or not, you are the witnessing Consciousness, not the fellow caught in it.
Sometimes after high experience you will notice little sparks of suffering coming up, maybe in a more intense way than you're used to. That’s because when you become clearer by contrast the suffering seems more intense. When this happens just know that this is God’s way of saying, “Look here.” When you resolve this bit of suffering, you will never have to return to it again.
Self Realization will not always eliminate anger. Sometimes anger is the perfect tool to deal with a situation. But if the “me” who is being treated unfairly is based on an old limited identity, clouded in conceptual thinking, use the energy that came up with the anger to destroy those concepts. This will cut one of the strings that pulls you back into limitation. Then what you thought was a profound experience will turn out to be your natural state. And if because of their short-sightedness the organization treats you unfairly, it may be time to get angry. Use anger as a tool and then let it go.
Right now I am redesigning Making Your Wisdom Come Alive, a book that provides a step by step approach so that you can find your natural freedom. It also gives you plenty of inspiration for your practice. Because we are doing a publicity campaign, there is a good possibility that I will have some radio and TV interviews. So look for them, and if you are allowed to, call in and ask questions. Remember, inner development is for the curious and this may be your opportunity to practice curiosity.
Feel
free to ask questions
Now I want you to experience your
true identity in its full glory. So please
feel free to continue asking questions. I’m always glad to hear your
reactions and clarify my answers. Unlike the path of faith, on the path
of Self-Knowledge it is curiosity that destroys limitation and allows
you to abide in your natural freedom.
Best Wishes for Your Practice,
Michael Gluckman
