Hello Michael,
Thanks Michael. I think you are confirming my experience. I recognize clearly that the mind has its own reality and story using thought and often stirring up emotions to give colour to those thoughts. I see clearly that I am not the mind but use the mind for thinking. It sometimes feels that I live two realities. The one reality is when I identify with the mind, thought and emotions and another reality when even the sense of I disappears and there is just walking or writing or having fun or even getting angry and recognizing that the anger has a place in the context of things and needs to be honoured rather than allowing the mind to grab this energy and use it for emotional charges and becoming a victim.
So where to from here? It almost feels that I am running out of questions or have at last run out of questions and that it is just about making this truth my life and allowing the great mystery of who I am/am not emerge more and more.
Warm greetings,
Bernard
Hi Bernard, you are right; I wanted to confirm your experience. I also wanted to warn you that sometimes after a high experience assumptions come up with a little more intensity. But once you recognize what is happening, you can use this intensity to cut the strings that seem to pull you back into limitation, and remain in your natural state of peace. For more information on this read, “What does it mean to question assumptions?” in “Making your Wisdom Come Alive.”
One typical assumption is that there are two persons in you, one battling with the other. First there is me, and I’m the good guy. But then there is that other entity called my mind with its own story colored by all of its emotions and problems.
Do you get caught in a battle with your mind?
In this battle, which one is going to win? Is mind going to overwhelm me, or am I going to tame my mind? This battle seems to go on and on without any resolution.
This battle has many names. It is sometimes called God verses the devil, or me fighting my ego, or the ego fighting the id, or the ego fighting with the super ego. Whatever the name, these battles are unceasing. Every time you think you are making progress you get ambushed from behind by unwanted emotions and thoughts. What are you going to do?
How many I(s) are you anyway?
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Fortunately there is a way out of this quandary. It comes from the most basic sense that there is really only one I here and not two. In fact both sides of the battle, the good me, and the bad mind are not you at all. They are just objects that you see. You are Awareness, not limited by either of these objects.
When you have the feeling of freedom that you describe in your question, you are abiding in your natural state, free from both sides of this battle. But then almost imperceptibly you identity begins to shift out of your natural state of Awareness and into the “good me” thought as it were.
Identifying with a thought in the mind, duality appears
Once you identify with the “me thought” the other side of the battle, “my mind,” appears. The quickest way out is to notice that you are free of both sides of the battle. When you see this, you will naturally return to your real home, Awareness. From the point of view of practice, you want to notice that you are the witnessing Consciousness and both sides of your struggle are merely objects that you see.
What’s next?
Now you ask, “What’s next?” Awareness is your real home and if you abide here your practice is done and you are free. Just remain as you are.
But if you find yourself coming back to this battle again and again, try to determine what you are taking to be your home. Is it beliefs about what I am, or what my mind is? Do you miss the underlying harmony that pervades the world, and then get stuck in certain views where it’s me against the world? Remember, when you recognize the conceptual patterns and frameworks that you come back to, you are free of them. Seeing them is all that is necessary. That's because when you become aware of them, they are no longer automatic. So you need no other step.
Freedom is unpredictable but in perfect harmony.
Once you get a feeling for this type of practice you will see your life and mind change in ways that you could not predict. Everyday life will become a real adventure. That’s because you are changing out of the usual patterns that make up your life and into freedom. Freedom is unpredictable but is in perfect harmony.
This practice is a skill that you develop. But since the results are so amazing, once you see through one concept, you will want to destroy them all. But long before you get to the last concept, you will come face to face with the idea of a separate I. On the deepest level, you will see that the assumption of a separate I is untrue. That’s the last string and when cut, there is no place left to come back to. Then you just remain as you are: in you natural state of eternal Awareness and Bliss.
Just a quick reminder here, the description that the mind gives about the experience is not the experience itself. You have to appreciate the experiences that you have from within the experiences, and not by standing separate. This is the way you would taste a fine wine. Just reading about the wine is not the same as tasting it yourself.Similarly, the way to fully appreciate your own Self-Nature is by standing there and experiencing it for yourself. At the most, these words can point you to the right place. But you have to stand there and taste reality for yourself. To get a fuller application of what we are saying here, look at “Thinking from Within,” in “Making Your Wisdom Come Alive.”
Right now I am redesigning Making Your Wisdom Come Alive, a book that provides a step by step approach so that you can find your natural freedom. It also gives you plenty of inspiration for your practice. Because we are doing a publicity campaign, there is a good possibility that I will have some radio and TV interviews. So look for them, and if you are allowed to, call in and ask questions. Remember, inner development is for the curious and this may be your opportunity to practice curiosity.
Feel
free to ask questions
Now I want you to experience your
true identity in its full glory. So please
feel free to continue asking questions. I’m always glad to hear your
reactions and clarify my answers. Unlike the path of faith, on the path
of Self-Knowledge it is curiosity that destroys limitation and allows
you to abide in your natural freedom.
Best Wishes for Your Practice,
Michael Gluckman