Hello Michael,Hi Bernard,
Slowly reading through the second part of your book and recognizing the same message coming through all the time.
I guess where I get stuck sometimes is the constant need it seems to use the mind. Just being the Self for a Picean like me is always restful and awesome at the same time but then comes a difficult patient that demands an answer or a challenge from my son or an old irritation that comes up or the need to make a decision around a contract. Now it seems the mind needs to make a decision or runs through a whole story stirring up emotions.
I see the story the mind is concocting and its limitation in making decisions and at this point there comes in a dilemma that goes something like this….
I can just let the mind run itself out but that can take forever especially if it managed to get an emotion going or I can just see the limitation of mind, the illusionary nature of its game and that everything is actually one and that this little self or ego and the other ego are all self and eventually the hold of the mind seems to dissipate.
Then the question comes up who was doing all this. If the Self is ‘non moving’ and just awareness who is involved in this whole story of dealing with the game of mind. There is still the sense that ‘I’ am doing something to deal with the Mind story .
I am trying to understand my own dilemma as I write this.
The Self is not on any journey because it is already home but there is still this ‘I” that seemingly needs to deal with the mind stuff, make decisions, decide on choosing a more creative approach than a self destructive way.
If my wife says something that is irritating to me. The Self is not really interested in the irritation but I can feel the irritation which does not feel great. I guess the truth is that I am not the irritation or the one that is irritated . To stay as Self unattached to the charge is perhaps the secret. I see how difficult that is because I tend to identify with the world of sensation , emotions and thought. From the place of awareness these are all illusionary and appear and disappear.
So the question left is the tricky one of decision making which I still have not resolved. Mind as you say must become a friend so that decision making is somehow a reflection of and inspired by awareness. Is that it!!
Warm greetings,
Bernard
Thank you for your comments and questions. Are still assuming that there are two of you in there? The Self, which is your real home and at peace, and this other thing called a mind, which is full of reactions and tricks. And it still plays out as which one is going to prevail: the heavenly self or the hellish mind. Now look again and consider if using the mind is opposite or different in any way from abiding in your Self Nature.
What makes you think that using the mind is so powerful that it can overcome the all pervading Self and bring your real nature to its knees? Did you ever notice that the sense of reality that the mind has comes from you, and not from the mind? In fact, without Awareness the mind wouldn’t even exist. It would just return to the place where it really abides anyway as no particular thing. One proof is that in deep sleep the mind is completely gone without even a trace. But it doesn’t feel as if anything is really missing, does it?
What is mind in its natural state?
It is worth spending some time in your meditations considering what would happen if you just let the mind go back to its natural state without making any effort to restrain or control it. Would it become a monster that destroys everything in sight, and with all its reactions and fears send you to the hell realms? Or would it return to its natural state of peace.
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Remember, your assumption about the natural state of your mind will determine how you practice. If it’s a monster then you would have to spend your spiritual practice restraining it. On the other hand if it is not different from your own Self-Nature, then it returns to its natural state of peace. When necessary, it becomes a tool that you can use to deal with the situations you face in the world. This is a clearer view of the mind as there is nothing that is opposite or outside the Self. So consider the mind a wonderful tool, here to do your bidding. It helps me to write this blog and you to read and understand it. When your patient has a question, it helps you to formulate a good answer, and when your wife irritates you it helps you to communicate with her so that you can resolve the problem.